RON ORP London N

Unfortunately, I cannot be everywhere at once. Therefore, I have in all my towns a deputy who brings out Ron Orp' mail. Since the end of last year I have been searching for a new deputy for London, who wants to take over a licence to continue Ron Orp''s mail As yet unsuccessfully. Therefore, the London issue will pause at the end of February, until I have found somebody new. Interested? Email at partner@ronorp.net

Many thanks for your loyalty. Ron

Saturday will see me enjoying others in pain as I attend the English National Cross Country Championships. I spent five years hacking across the Heath myself in my distant youth but now I shall be in woolly hat and wellies and enjoy the sight of others sinking into the mud. With a cup of hot tea... £Free
Saturday 11am – 4pm, Parliament Hill Fields, Hampstead Heath,NW3/NW5

I’m a big fan of A list classical actress Harriet Walter who is in conversation with Timberlake Wertenbaker this weekend. She will be talking about constructing a character, presumably with an emphasis on the psychological truth of the process, considering they will be discussing it at the house of Sigmund Freud. Hopefully it will be rather more rigorous in approach than a certain movie currently doing the rounds... £10
Sunday 6pm, Freud Museum, Hampstead, NW3

If you want a completely bizarre cultural clash how about this? Totally uncool but [whisper it] really fun Scottish country dancing in uber-hip Camden where the kids all carry eye-liner and communicate in dudespeak. Ceilidh Club at Cecil Sharp House is one of the biggest secret raves in town – so get hip with the Gay Gordon. Booking essential. £14.50
Saturday 7pm, Cecil Sharp House, Camden, NW1

Pitchfork Disney is one really bizarre play. It features a modern day Hansel & Gretel self-medicating and hallucinating themselves into a spewy mess, aided and raided by a couple of nasty outsiders. It features Nathan Stewart-Jarrett getting his abs out again and superstar Ms Minnie Gale. Watch out for her – she’s got a twitch finger... £22.50
Monday to Saturday 7.30pm and matinees, Arcola Theatre, Dalston, E8

So this Wednesday you can ask a man to marry you or watch a boring team play football. Personally neither of those appeal so I will spend the last day of Ron Orp London in my spiritual home, The Dublin Castle, watching a bunch of bands selected for no other reason than their names - Ofeliadorme, Utopian Love Revival, King of Spain, Last Days of Kwan – if that lot don’t tempt you, you’re a Dutchman. Thankyou and goodnight. £6
Wednesday 7pm, Dublin Castle, Camden, NW1

I found an impressive photo series on the website Street Art Utopia that consists solely of 3D-street-art. Often you get the feeling that you’re actually standing in front of Lego figures or that you’re falling down.